The Titans take on Slash
by Sirius Blaak
Summary: The Teen Titans find out that people are writing slash fanfics about them! Now they have a new villain to take down, and his name is Slash. Rated because of slash references
1. Are you implying something, Beast Boy?

**This is an idea I've been toying with for a while, and now I finally wrote it down! The Titans find out that there are cartoons about them, and that there's -gasp- slash being written. They have to stop it!**

**I don't own the Teen Titans, and I apologize if someone out there is named the Lord of Crackers. I did an author search before I used the name, and no one popped up. If there is a Lord of Crackers and you are offended by the way I portray the character, I will of course change it.**

**Enjoy!**

Beast Boy sat at his computer, his eyes whizzing across the screen about a mile a minute. His mouth was open slightly, and one of his eyebrows was raised.

"Okay, dude, why would Aqualad and I want to…" Beast Boy trailed away as his eyes widened and he let out a loud noise of disgust.

"I don't even know what that means and it sounds nasty," Beast Boy leaned away from the computer and rubbed his eyes.

"What's wrong, Beast Boy?" Robin had just walked into Beast Boy's room. One of his eyebrows was obviously raised underneath his mask; one side was larger than the other.

"Robin!" Beast Boy walked over to him, grabbed his arm, and pushed him into the chair in front of the computer. "What's that mean?" Beast Boy pointed to a sentence of the story he was reading online.

Robin peered at it through his mask for a split second before gagging. He collapsed onto the floor, scraping his gloved fingers against his mask.

"Beast Boy!" He gasped. "What on earth are you reading?"

"I don't even know!" Beast Boy answered, looking at the Boy Wonder, who was now curled up in a fetal position, with confusion. "I just found out that there were stories about us online!"

Robin's mask widened, and he began rocking himself back and forth.

"Find a happy place," Robin murmured in a squeaky voice. "Find a happy place. Find a happy place. Darn you Beast Boy, now I have to find my happy place!"

"But why?" Beast Boy asked, a look of innocent confusion on his face.

"I think it's better if you didn't know why," Robin said, taking a deep breath and standing up. He placed a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder and said in a forced calm voice, "Some things in the world are meant to be mysteries."

Beast Boy pouted and his ears drooped. He really wanted to know why their leader had been reduced to rocking himself on the floor just because he had read something. He blinked his eyes slowly, and turned into a puppy.

"Fine, I'll tell you," Robin sighed. He pointed to a sentence on the computer screen.

"When they say Aqualad was…"

Outside the room, Starfire began singing a Tamaranian folk song.

"…they don't mean he was playing with legos. It means that he was…"

Raven came out of her room and found Starfire singing. She clapped her hand over the alien's mouth, saying, "Please don't sing, Starfire. I can't concentrate."

"Oh my freaking gosh!" Beast Boy was now rolling around on the floor, changing into every animal known to man. "That is so wrong!"

"Told you you didn't want to know," Robin said, now scrolling up the site page. "What site are you on anyway?"

"Fanfiction dot net," Beast Boy said between transformations. "I didn't know I was gonna read something like that though! I thought it would be funny!"

"Robin, what's wrong with him?"

Both Robin and Beast Boy flinched as they heard Raven's voice from the doorway. Of all the Titans to walk into a room when the two of them had…questionable material…on the computer in front of them, Raven was the worst.

"Nothing," Beast Boy said squeakily as he stopped transforming and stood up, trying to look innocent. "Just practicing my transformations." He smiled and laughed nervously, backing up in an attempt to press the 'off' button on the computer.

Raven thrust out her arm, and both Beast Boy and Robin were stopped from getting any closer to the computer by a wall of black energy.

"All right, what's really going on?" Raven asked, using her black wall to push both boys away from the computer.

Beast Boy's dark green complexion paled into a sickly lime color, while Robin's cheeks flushed magenta as Raven walked through her wall as if it wasn't there and walked to the computer.

"Ugh, what is wrong with the two of you?" Raven said hastily after not even five seconds. She turned to where Beast Boy and Robin had been standing to find both of the Titans gone.

"They are _so_ perverted," Raven said, turning the computer off. She shuddered, then walked pointedly out of the room, saying, "I need to meditate. Maybe Happy can push this out of my mind."

Only seconds later, Beast Boy and Robin walked back into the room.

"So, why were you on that site?" Robin asked as Beast Boy as the two boys plopped down onto the floor (after Beast Boy hastily swept a pile of dirty clothes under his bed).

"I just heard there were stories about us online," Beast Boy said innocently. "I didn't know that our fans were that sick minded!" He paused for a moment, then hastily began talking again. "I mean, most of the stories on that site are romance stories!" He tucked his knees under his chin and hugged himself.

"Romance?" Robin asked, his mask widening. "Dare I ask who – or what – they're hooking us up with?"

"Everyone seems to puts me with Raven," Beast Boy said, putting his hands over his head and closing his eyes. "And you and Starfire are the next most popular." Beast Boy opened his eyes just in time to see Robin turn red.

"Great," Robin said, putting his head in his hands.

"Hey, guys!" Cyborg stepped into the room. "Wanna get a pizza?" He stopped and looked at his two teammates. "Wait, why do you guys look like the world's gonna end tomorrow? Did I miss something?"

"Beast Boy decided to read fanfictions about us," Robin said slowly. "Let's just say it backfired."

"What?" Cyborg sat down heavily beside Robin and looked at Beast Boy. "Explain, BB."

"Well, I decided to see if anyone had written any new fanfictions for one of my favorite cartoons," Beast Boy said. "But there weren't any, so I just looked at the big list of cartoons. And dude, there were like a million about us!"

"Why are we under 'cartoon'?" Robin asked. "You didn't tell me that."

"Beats me," Beast Boy shrugged. "Anyway, I started looking at some of them. Some were pretty funny. Like, there was this one where the entire city got turned into a giant blob of tofu. You–" He pointed to Cyborg, "–went crazy and almost jumped off the tower!" He elapsed into a fit of giggles. "Then I read one where Robin and Starfire got banished from Jump City. The two of you got married and had ten kids!"

"Giant blob of tofu?" Cyborg asked, his eyes wide.

"Ten kids?" Robin said, falling backward onto the dirty carpet.

"Dude, it was hilarious!" Beast Boy said. "But then I decided to read something that was supposed to be funny. But it wasn't! It had all of us getting married and then divorcing each other and then somehow me and Aqualad–"

"You're not still talking about that dirty fanfiction, are you Beast Boy?" Raven stepped into his room, her nose wrinkled against the smell of moldy tofu.

"Uh… no?" Beast Boy said innocently, smiling and rocking back and forth.

"Then why does Robin look like he's losing it?" Raven asked, pointing to the Boy Wonder.

"Ten kids?" Robin repeated in a shocked whisper, still lying on his back, his hands over his eyes. He sat up, removing his hands from his eyes. "That means that we… we… we made it to home base!" He collapsed onto the floor again.

"Dude, it was just a story!" Beast Boy said, crawling over to him and shaking his head. "It never happened, and never will happen." He raised an eyebrow and gave Robin a sly grin. "Unless you want it to, of course."

Robin's mask widened.

"Are you implying something, Beast Boy?" he asked. Frowning, Robin crawled over to Beast Boy and punched him so hard he flew all the way to the wall and slumped down against it, unconscious.

"You guys need a life," Raven said rolling her eyes. "I have no idea what you were talking about, but from the looks of it, it's all Beast Boy's fault. Typical." She shook her head and turned to walk out the door.

"Raven, wait!" Robin leapt up and grabbed Raven's shoulder. "Maybe you can help us."

"I'd need to know what the problem is first," she said, turning around.

"Right," Robin said, looking behind him at Cyborg, who shrugged, and then at Beast Boy, who was still unconscious.

"I think you'd better sit down," Robin said, releasing Raven's shoulder and sitting back down.

"Not on that," Raven said dryly, looking at the dirty carpet. She crossed her legs in midair and levitated herself into the room.

"Friends!" came the exclamation from the doorway. "You have gathered without me!" Starfire bounded into the room, smiling, and sat down on the carpet next to Robin.

The other two conscious Titans noticed that Robin's face turned red when she sat down. Well, redder than it normally did when Starfire was around.

"Uh," Cyborg looked at Robin, trying to think of the best way to explain the situation to not only Raven, but to Starfire.

"Let's put it this way," Robin said, putting both his hands up in a defensive position. "People are writing slash fiction about us and posting it on the internet."

He winced, waiting for the onslaught of either dark magic or starbolts that he was obviously expecting.

"Well, this sucks," Raven said calmly.

"Tell me," Starfire said in an innocent tone impossible to hold in a conversation of this sort, "what is slash?"

"Help me," Robin whispered, biting his lip.

"You do understand what a boyfriend and a girlfriend are, Starfire?" Raven asked, obviously trying to find the least harsh way to tell the alien the definition of slash.

"Yes," Starfire nodded.

"Well, it's like that, but instead of a boy having a girlfriend, he, um…" Raven trailed away, obviously not wanting to be the one to swing the final blow.

"Man, why do I have to do it?" Cyborg asked as both Raven and Robin looked at him expectantly. "OK, so instead of a boy having a girlfriend, he has a, well, he has a boyfriend."

"What?" Starfire looked even more confused. "How is that possible?"

"People have sick minds?" Robin said, hoping that Starfire would take this as an explanation.

"Oh, so their minds are dysfunctional," Starfire nodded. "I see."

"Right!" Raven said, obviously pleased that Starfire had not only accepted the situation, but found a way to explain it to herself.

"But why would people want to write about us like that?" Starfire asked, her eyes wide. "Does that mean they do not like us? That they think we are all klorbags?"

"It's possible," Raven said, nodding slowly.

"So now we're trying to think of a way to stop it," Robin said.

"I now understand the situation!" Starfire said, beaming. "We must stop people from writing the 'slash' about us."

A soft moaning came from the wall, and all four Titans were distracted by Beast Boy coming around.

"Dude, that hurt!" he said, rubbing the side of his head and looking around. When his eyes fell on Starfire (who was beaming and waving) and Raven (who was levitating and looking bored), his eyes widened. "What are they doing here?"

"They're helping us solve the problem," Cyborg said in an isn't-that-obvious tone of voice.

"Sorry if I was K-Oed when that happened," Beast Boy said sarcastically, looking at Robin. Robin answered with a frown.

"Let's get back to why we're here," Raven said pointedly.

"We must stop people from writing the 'slash' about us!" Starfire repeated. "It should not be difficult if we ask politely."

"I think it'll take more than a simple, 'Please stop writing slash about us,' Starfire," Raven said, shaking her head. "They obviously like writing that kind of thing. We'll have to be _persuasive_, if you catch my drift." The Titan guys nodded, while Starfire looked puzzled.

"What–" Starfire began, but Robin simply punched his fist into his palm, stopping her sentence. "Very well," Starfire said, looking slightly less happy. "But let us not be too persuasive."

"Dude, they were pretty bad about pairing me and Aqualad, so I'm gonna be as persuasive as I want," Beast Boy said, frowning.

"Aqualad?" Cyborg looked at Beast Boy. "You and Aqualad?" He looked as if he might gag.

"Yeah," Beast Boy said, shuddering.

"Is there anything else you have to warn us about before we do this, Beast Boy?" Raven asked.

"Just don't read them," Beast Boy's eyes widened. "My mind has been scarred forever."

"I think we figured that out this morning," Robin said.

"So what are we to do now?" Starfire asked.

"We figure out who did it," Cyborg said, turning his arm into his sonic cannon, "and squash them."

"Let's get to work!" Robin said, picking up Beast Boy's computer monitor and placing it on the floor in front of the Titans. They scooted close together so they all could see the screen as Robin put the keyboard in front of the monitor.

"What was the site name?" Robin asked, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

"Fanfiction dot net," Beast Boy said immediately. Robin typed in the name, and the home page came up.

"Here, Beast Boy," Robin said, handing him the keyboard. "You know the site better than we do."

"Okay, dude," Beast Boy said, backing up to grab the mouse before clicking on 'cartoon.'

"Why are we called 'cartoons'?" Starfire asked. "I believe we are actual living beings."

"We're all stumped on that one, Star," Robin said, shrugging, as Beast Boy clicked on 'Teen Titans.'

"So what should I look under?" Beast Boy asked, clicking on the 'search' option at the top of the screen.

"Try the obvious," Raven said. When Beast Boy looked confused, she added, "Slash," with a sigh. Beast Boy typed it in, and everyone held their breath.

"One hundred and thirty nine?" they all screamed as the page loaded.

"I think I just lost my appetite for the next year," Robin said, holding his stomach and groaning.

"Dude, that is so wrong," Beast Boy said, hitting himself over the head.

"Man," Cyborg said, shaking his head. "That's just… I don't even have words for it."

Raven simply closed her eyes, while Starfire's widened.

"Now what must we do?" she asked, her green eyes turning on Robin.

"We figure out who's writing all this," he said, punching his fist into his hand again. While everyone else closed their eyes, he clicked on the author of the first story, 'Lord of Crackers.'

"Okay, this person has written only one slash fic about us," Robin said, looking around at his team members. They all still had their eyes covered. Robin bit his lip and turned back to the computer. "And it's about Aqualad and Speedy."

"Ew!" All four of the other Titans groaned. They all uncovered their eyes, and Cyborg turned his arm into his cannon again. "Can I blast them?"

"No, let me give them the monster of all wet willies!" Beast Boy said, turning into a flea and then into a hummingbird.

"Or I could give them nightmares for the rest of their life," Raven said, a black aura surrounding her.

"They will not disrespect our good friends!" Starfire said, her eyes glowing green.

"You know what we should do?" Robin asked, smiling slyly. "I think we should let Aqualad and Speedy take it out on them. After all, it is about them."


	2. I'm not gay!

_Here's chapter two! This one has the Titans facing the first slasher. Will they get him to stop writing slash about them? Or will they fail dismally and have to endure humility forever?_

Recap:_ "Okay, this person has written only one slash fic about us," Robin said, looking around at his team members. They all still had their eyes covered. Robin bit his lip and turned back to the computer. "And it's about Aqualad and Speedy."_

_"Ew!" All four of the other Titans groaned. They all uncovered their eyes, and Cyborg turned his arm into his cannon again. "Can I blast them?"_

_"No, let me give them the monster of all wet willies!" Beast Boy said, turning into a flea and then into a hummingbird._

_"Or I could give them nightmares for the rest of their life," Raven said, a black aura surrounding her._

_"They will not disrespect our good friends!" Starfire said, her eyes glowing green._

_"You know what we should do?" Robin asked, smiling slyly. "I think we should let Aqualad and Speedy take it out on them. After all, it is about them."_

_- - --_

After about an hour, during which the Titans had to explain the problem to the Titans East, which involved Mas Y Menos fainting, Bumblebee zoning out for a full five minutes, Speedy completely losing it, and Aqualad throwing up, the ten Titans were working together to stop the slash authors.

"All right teams," Robin began, after the Titans East had all returned from their unconscious worlds (or, in Aqualad's case, the bathroom). "We know that there are at least one hundred and thirty nine stories out there, and those are only the ones that have slash warnings on them. The Titans over here have printed out a list of every single Teen Titans fanfiction on fanfiction dot net. We're sending it to you now. Since there are ten of us, we'll work with ten pages of the list every day. We'll all look over a page, and if it has a slash story on it, then we'll mark down the author. We'll hit all the authors we find that day. We'll continue like that until we've hit every slash author."

"Will it work?" Speedy asked.

"They'll hopefully delete their stories and stop writing slash," Robin said, nodding. "I think we can do it."

"If not, I'm hacking their computer," Cyborg said, smiling. "They'll wish they'd stopped after all their programs crash and the only thing they can see on the screen is all of us saying, 'Down with slashers!'" Cyborg and all the Titans laughed.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" Bumblebee said. "After we froze practically every threat when we took down the Brotherhood of Evil, there hasn't really been much to do."

"Ready, team?" Robin asked, smiling.

"I've been ready since you told me what the Lego thing meant," Beast Boy said, sticking out his tongue and pointing into his mouth, showing his disgust.

"All right," Raven pulled a piece of paper out of the computer. "Here we have a list of ten slash stories. And they're all guys." She scanned it again, then added, "And Aqualad's in all of them."

"What?" Aqualad's face turned a nasty color of green again. "I'm not gay!"

"We know," Speedy said, clapping his friend on the back. "Don't worry, we'll stop this."

"This 'Lord of Crackers' person is the first one we'll hit," Robin frowned. "Aqualad and Speedy, this one's for you. I found their true identity, and I'm sending you the coordinates of their house. It is rather close to your tower."

"¡Gracias, Señor!" Mas Y Menos gave Robin the thumbs-up.

"I can't wait to hit them," Speedy ran his fingers along his bow.

"Same here," Aqualad frowned, and the sink at the East Tower exploded.

- - - - -

About two hours later, Aqualad and Speedy were sitting in their own version of the T-car, one block from the Lord of Cracker's house.

"All right," Speedy began, taking his hands off the wheel and pulling out the information Robin had sent them. "The Lord of Crackers is actually a boy named Adam. It says here that he's seventeen years old, and this is his street address." Speedy pointed to a spot on the paper.

"So we can go hard on him since he's not younger than us," Aqualad said, grinning. "This is gonna be so sweet."

"Let's get him!" Speedy exclaimed, and both Titans jumped out of the car and started running in the direction of Adam's house.

"First I'm gonna soak him," Aqualad rubbed his hands together while running.

"Then I'll freeze him in there!" Speedy interrupted, pointing to his arrows.

"Then get him out…" Aqualad trailed away as both boys exchanged evil grins.

"And pummel him!" Both boys yelled.

"This is it!" Speedy said a few minutes later. Both boys halted outside a blue house that bore Adam's address number.

"His house looks so clean for a slasher," Aqualad shook his head.

This was true. Adam's house seemed to just have had its gutters cleaned and repainted. There was little to no dirt on any part of the house. The garden was expertly weeded, and the bushes were trimmed to right angles. The grass was a shade of green everyone envies, and there were gleaming deck chairs on the porch.

"Come on," Speedy said, grabbing Aqualad's arm.

The two boys walked so they were in front of the door, and Aqualad pushed the doorbell with a gloved hand.

"Get ready," Speedy drew his freezing arrow and pulling back his bow.

"I am," Aqualad answered, putting both his fists up in front of his face and bouncing on his heels, ready to fight.

The door was pulled open by a small old lady.

"Can I help you?" she asked, looking up at the Titans in surprise.

"We're here for Adam," Speedy slackened the taught grip on his bowstring.

"Adam's not here right now," the old lady said apologetically. "Are you friends of his?"

"Uh…" Aqualad looked to Speedy for help.

"Would you like to come in?" the lady asked, stepping aside. "I can get you some tea and cookies. I was just about to make some."

"Um, not meaning to be rude, but who on earth are you?" Speedy asked, one eyebrow raised under his mask.

"I'm Adam's great aunt Lucy," the woman smiled up at them. "You can call me Aunt Lucy if you want." She paused and looked at them for a few seconds before continuing. "Well, how about those cookies?"

"No thanks," Speedy said, just as Aqualad was about to enter the house. Speedy grabbed the back of his unitard and pulled him backwards. "We actually have to go. Thank you for your help and hospitality, uh, Aunt Lucy."

"Anytime, boys," Aunt Lucy smiled and waved before closing the door. They heard her say, "Such nice, polite boys. I didn't know it was Halloween already, though. I'd better check my calendar."

"Hey, I wanted that cookie!" Aqualad complained, yanking himself out of Speedy's grip.

"Come on, would you not feel the slightest bit guilty eating Aunt Lucy's food then beating up her nephew?"

"Good point," Aqualad nodded. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I guess we wait for him to come back," Speedy shrugged. "Does that sound…? Aqualad, what are you doing?"

Aqualad had made a mad dash for something in the center of one of the gardens.

"There's a pond over here!" he exclaimed. "They must have fish!" He paused, obviously checking to see if there were fish in the pond. "There are fish in here! It's been a while since I talked to any fish!" He smiled broadly at Speedy before turning back to the pond. "Hello little fishy…" He dunked his head in the pond, obviously using his telepathy to talk to the fish.

"And this is why most of the slash stories are about him," Speedy rolled his eyes under his mask.

The two boys sat by the garden for about an hour. Aqualad kept busy by talking to the pond goldfish about their boring lifestyles in Aunt Lucy's pond. When Speedy heard a car pull up to the house, he nudged Aqualad, who drew his head out of the pond almost reluctantly.

"He's here," Speedy whispered, and the two boys sank lower to the ground as one. Speedy wrinkled his nose against the overpowering smell of the various flowers that were pressed against his face at this action.

The two Titans watched silently as a teenager walked toward the house. They nodded, and once he was halfway there, they pounced.

They jumped out of the flowers as one, Speedy drawing an arrow and Aqualad raising a pillar of water behind him.

"What the–" Adam started, and began to run. The Titan boys followed, Speedy letting the arrow loose. Aqualad encased Adam in water just as the arrow hit, freezing him in ice. The block of ice fell to the ground, Adam facing the sky.

"We know who you are, Lord of Crackers," Speedy stepped over the block to look down into Adam's petrified eyes.

"And we want you to stop writing slash about us," Aqualad said, his eyes narrowed into a frown.

"Wha?" Adam's voice was muffled.

"That's right," Speedy savored the frightened expression on Adam's face. "Stop writing slash or we'll beat you up. No joke."

"Yeah, we're doing this for every slash story until it stops," Aqualad smiled. "You're lucky you only have one. Otherwise all the Titans would have knocked down your door or something!"

The two Titans high-fived each other, and Speedy shot a heat arrow into the block of ice, completely melting it so Adam was free. He made to run for the house, but Aqualad grabbed his collar.

"Promise not to write slash about me," he said, in a voice so dangerous that Speedy put a hand on his shoulder to restrain him. "You see, we take it personally. I do especially, since I've learned I'm in the most slash stories."

"All right," Adam squeaked. "I promise."

"Good boy," Aqualad dropped him roughly to the ground. "Now remember, no writing slash about anyone. We know where you live."

The two Titan boys exchanged smiles as they left the spot where Adam was still curled up on the ground, whining. They high-fived each other again, and Speedy pulled out his Titans communicator.

"Speedy and Aqualad to the Tower," he said, and all five of the Jump City Titans appeared on the tiny screen. "We got 'im."

The five Jump City Titans started cheering.

"Well done, friends," Starfire beamed. "We must tell the others of your victory!"

"I'm on it," Aqualad pulled out his own communicator and called the three other Titans. He said, "We did it!" when their faces showed up.

There were cheers from Bumblebee, and Mas Y Menos began talking in excited Spanish.

"Now, onto the next house!" Speedy posed with his arm outstretched, pointing to the horizon.


	3. Did Robin just say he was confused?

**Okay before I do anything else, I'd just like to clear something up. I have _ABSOLUTELY NOTHING_ against homosexuality. This story is _NOT_ bashing homosexuality, however much it might seem like it is. It is simply showing displeasure in the way the Teen Titans, characters from a _Y7_ rated show, are being portrayted as gay. I mean, think about it from their point of view. If you found out that you were a cartoon and hundreds of people were pretending you were gay, then wouldn't you be unhappy too? And don't even try to tell me no (unless that would be a true statement about you, and in that case, I am deeply sorry if I have offended you in any way), because one of my friends has a rumor going around saying he's gay, and he's not too happy about that!**

**So I apologize if I have offended you in any way, shape, or form, but want to know how you can make yourself feel better? Stop reading my fanfics!!! If they bother you that much, just don't read the dang things!!!!! Flaming me does nothing except lower my respect for you. The End. I'm sorry my brain doesn't work the same way yours does.**

**Did I get my point across?**

**Now I must apologize (again) to all the people reading this who have not flamed me and just wasted ten minutes reading this. Sorry I wasted your time!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Got it?**

* * *

"So, who wants to check up on our friend, the 'Lord of Crackers'?"

All the Titans, West and East, were in the Jump City Tower, and Cyborg was sitting at the main computer, typing in 'fanfiction dot net' on web browser.

There were appropriate cheers from all the Titans. Aqualad and Speedy high fived each other, and Bumblebee tousled both of their hair, making their cheers turn to groans.

Cyborg clicked the 'Lord of Cracker' link, and scrolled down to look at his stories.

"It's still there!" Cyborg frowned as the cheers died away.

"What is wrong with him?" Aqualad ran over to the computer, trying to flatten his hair at the same time. He scrolled up to Adam's profile.

"Listen to this!" The groans of disappointment died away, and everyone looked at Aqualad, their eyes boring holes into his back, as he read aloud.

"'Dude, you guys are never going to believe what happened! Aqualad and Speedy randomly showed up at my house and beat me up! It was awesome! They told me they'll hit every slash author. So if you want some crazy Titan imposters to come and beat you up, write slash!'"

The silence was broken by screams of disgust.

"We are not the 'imposters'," Starfire insisted, frowning. "We are Titans!"

"Wait a second, he has two slash stories now!" Raven pointed to a spot on the screen. The rest of the Titans all looked, and saw, to their horror, that she was right.

"What is wrong with this guy?" Aqualad slumped to the floor, sobbing. "I don't wanna be gay!"

The nine other Titans all chose to ignore this, and instead went back up to the search bar and typed in 'slash.'

In reaction to the number, Speedy, Bumblebee, and Robin gagged on air; Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Starfire all sank to the ground; Mas Y Menos began swearing in Spanish; and Aqualad was still sobbing and hadn't noticed. The only Titan who had almost no reaction was Raven; she was sitting still, stunned.

"Th-three hundred?" she managed to choke out. She turned to look at her stunned teammates and said, "I don't think this is working."

"Of course it's not, dear Titans!"

Everyone (except Aqualad) started and turned to look at the communication screen. On it was a strange man they had never seen before. He seemed to be very tall and thin with white hair and almost completely white eyes. He wore a black one-piece spandex suit with the word 'Slash' on it.

"Who are you?" Robin asked, balling his hands into fists.

"Isn't it obvious?" the man laughed, which made everyone's hair stand on end (with the exception of Aqualad again, who was now swimming in his own tears). "I'm Slash!"

"Uh… I'm confused," Robin raised an eyebrow.

"Wait, did Robin just say he was confused?" Cyborg looked around incredulously. He clapped a hand to his forehead, the said, "First we find out people are saying we're gay, then we find out our plan didn't work, then some random guy named Slash shows up, and Robin's confused? This must be the apocalypse."

"I can arrange that," Raven looked at him coldly.

"Why is your name Slash?" Robin pounded one fist into his other hand. "What do you want with us?"

"Tut, tut," Slash shook his head. "You really are slower than I thought. Isn't it obvious?" When no one said anything, he sighed and continued, "I'm the one who writes all the slash fiction."

"No you're not!" Beast Boy yelled. "Dude, there are, like, thousands of slash stuff out there. You didn't write it all. Besides, Aqualad and Speedy beat up that one guy!"

"Don't you see?" Slash chuckled. "They write it, yes. But I am the one that inspires them. I give them their ideas, and they write them down."

"So this is all your fault," Bumblebee concluded, flapping her wings and hovering eye-level with Slash.

"Um, duh," Slash said sarcastically.

"Why are you telling us this?" Raven asked.

"Because I want to see if the Teen Titans are a match for Slash, ruler of all fanfiction."

"You are not ruler of all fanfiction!" Beast Boy put his hands on his hips. "What about all those other stories that aren't slash?"

"Easy," Slash shrugged. "I can multi-task." He winked at them, snapped his fingers, and was instantly a whole new person. This time he was a tall, thin blonde girl wearing a spandex suit that said, 'Robin and Starfire.'

"Robin, why are our names on her…er…his…um…that person's suit?" Starfire whispered. Robin, however, was incapable of answering, for he looked as though Slade had just done a Darth Vader and told him he was his father.

"Or how about this one?" Slash asked, snapping his fingers again. This time he was a girl with long black hair wearing a spandex suit that said, 'Beast Boy and Raven.'

"Hey Raven, maybe he's got a good idea there," Beast Boy winked.

"No," Raven raised her hand, encased Beast Boy in black magic, and threw him out the window.

"Craaaaaaaaaap!" came the yell from outside. A second later, Beast Boy had reappeared at the window in bird form. He flew inside, turned back into a human, and stood in front of the screen, frowning.

"But I think you'll all love this one," Slash said sarcastically, and in an instant he turned into a man with graying hair wearing a suit that said, 'Slade and Raven.'

"He is so lucky he's not here right now," Raven was surrounded by black magic, and she was hovering a few feet off the ground. The Titans heard the stove explode in the kitchen, and Cyborg, glad for the excuse to leave, rushed to see if he could fix it.

"So, Titans, think you're up for a challenge?" Slash smirked.

"We're ready," Robin punched his hand again.

"Fine," Slash said, grinning. "All you have to do is write a fanfic without me."

"That's it?" Raven asked, calming down slightly.

"It won't be so easy," Slash warned. "Like I've already said, I give everyone ideas."

"Come on, we can think of something, right guys?" Speedy punched the air.

"Si!" Mas Y Menos also punched the air.

"Oh, and by the way, I have a few rules you must follow," Slash laughed again.

"What are they?" Bumblebee frowned. "We'll still win, no matter what guidelines you give us."

"Number one, you must write a fanfic about yourselves," Slash held up one finger. "Number two, it must be romance. That's the main genre I give inspiration for, so that should be a toughie. And number three, all of you must write one chapter by yourselves, and it must all tie together in the end. No talking about this story. You just sit down and write your chapter, then leave. And I pick the order in which you write."

"Fine," Robin said, some of his vigor gone. "We'll do it."

"What are we doing?" Cyborg asked, coming back in from the kitchen, obviously deciding that the stove could wait. Beast Boy began relating the story to him with violent hand gestures.

"Oh, and one more thing," Slash chuckled. "You have one month to post this story up on fanfiction, and then another month after that to get one thousand reviews on it. If you do not, well, let's just say I will be dominating your fanfiction world."

"And if we do?" Raven prompted.

"Then you will all be feeling very fanfiction deprived, because I will give up inspiring people," Slash looked sad, but then brightened up immediately. "Which doesn't really matter, since Avatar is so much more popular than you guys!"

"Huh?" Speedy raised an eyebrow.

"Never mind," Slash rolled his eyes. "Now, the order you will write: Cyborg, Beast Boy, Speedy, Bumblebee, Menos, Starfire, Aqualad, Mas, Raven, and Robin. Good luck. You'll need it."

Then, with a crackle of static, he was gone.

"This isn't fair!" Aqualad was still crying on the floor and hadn't noticed a thing. "I'm not gay! Why do people think I'm gay?"

"Aqualad!" Bumblebee slapped him across the face, making him come back to reality.

"What?" he asked, a bit of a whine still in his voice. He straightened up and wiped his tear-stained face. Then, noticing the grave looks on the others' faces, he gulped and asked sheepishly, "Did I miss something important?"

* * *

**Please do not flame me. Give me constructive criticism that'll make me think I suck at life but will improve my writing instead.**

**(Oh, and 'you ------- writer, you suck and your stories suck and you're just a ------ that has no point in living and you should delete this story because it's full of ---- and I'd rather die than read this' is not constructive criticism. And if you really would rather die than read my story, why did you just read it???)**

**Hugs go out to everyone who reviews this story. Even the ones who didn't like it. :)**


	4. Yo fanfiction world!

_Here is the next part! Cyborg writes his chapter of the fanfic in this one. It's weird and random, I know. Enjoy!_

_I don't own Teen Titans or Dora the Explorer. Or the fanfiction registering or submitting a story process. Or Microsoft Word, or word count. Okay, basically, if you see anything that looks like it doesn't belong to me, I don't own it, okay?_

_Now, onto the story!_

"This is so unfair!" Cyborg complained. "Why do I have to write first? I have no idea what to write? And why romance? WHY?"

"Hey, at least you don't have to write the last chapter!" Robin argued. "I have to tie up all loose ends you guys might leave for me, so I don't want to hear it!"

"Hey, second-to-last is always the worst!" Raven crossed her arms. "I have to leave enough loose ends so you can write your chapter!"

"Well I have to come up with a plotline interesting enough to make into a ten-chapter story!" Cyborg yelled. "Have some sympathy here! I've never written anything in my life!"

"Friends, let us not argue!" Starfire tried to make herself heard. Frowning at the arguing, she took a deep breath and bellowed, "QUIET!!"

Everyone stopped and turned to look at her.

"Sorry," she blushed, "but friends should not argue over this. Let us work together to write this story and defeat this 'Slash.'"

"But we can't work together!" Aqualad still had tears running down his cheeks. "That guy said we have to do it all alone."

"But that is no reason to argue!" Starfire insisted. "Come, let us calm down over a pizza of the double-cheese."

"You guys go," Cyborg waved to his teammates. "I'll stay here and start writing. The sooner we start, the sooner this can be over."

"You sure, Sparky?" Bumblebee asked, obviously concerned for Cyborg's sanity.

"Yeah," Cyborg sighed dejectedly. "I'd just be better off getting this over with."

The other Titans shrugged and, deciding that this was for the best, exited the Tower, leaving Cyborg alone.

"Okay, Cy," Cyborg began talking to himself. "You can do this." He typed in 'fanfiction dot net' into the internet browser on his computer screen, and then went up to the 'register' option.

"Please read the terms of service," he said dully, and did not read them at all, simply scrolled down to the bottom of the page and clicked, 'Agree.'

"Pen name," he frowned. "Man, this is tough…" After thinking for a few second, he simply typed, 'Teen Titans.'

"Email," he typed in the group email all the Titans shared. "Re-type email. Okay, that's a waste of time." He did so quickly. "Password. Um…" Again, he simply typed in teentitans. He re-typed this in the next box, checked off both boxes, then clicked 'register.'

"I have to wait for an email?" he groaned. Highlighting the site name, he instead typed in the Titans' email server and logged in. To his relief, the email had already been sent and was waiting for him.

"Click on this link to make your site official," Cyborg read, then clicked on the link provided. "Yes, it worked!" He smiled, a two-second period of elation coming over him.

"Now what?" he wondered. Elation gone, he clicked on the 'Microsoft Word' icon on the desktop. Now faced with a blank sheet of paper, he was stumped.

"Okay, it has to be romance," Cyborg reminded himself, shuddering. "Oh man, I hate romance. Hey, maybe I could just introduce the story and let whoever's next do the romance part! Yeah, now that's a good plan!"

Even with this plan, it took Cyborg a few minutes to think of something to type. When he did, it was not the story, it was an author's note:

_Yo fanfiction world! I'm Cyborg and I'm writing this story to defeat an evil fanfiction villain. My teammates and I will be writing this story, and it needs to get one thousand reviews in two months. So please please please please please review, 'kay? If you do… um…I'll visit your house and yell "Boo-yah!" Or something like that'll happen. So review please!_

After this, he was stumped. He had figured that no one would believe the authors note, figuring that the Teen Titans would never in a million years write fanfiction, but he figured that might get some reviews saying that he was crazy and needed a psychiatrist. And those reviews were better than none, right?

"What am I supposed to write about?" Cyborg groaned. "I'm no good at this stuff."

He sat in silence, his hands over his eyes, for a few minutes before his face split into an evil grin.

"This might be the perfect opportunity to get back at Beast Boy for the time he gave me a computer virus," Cyborg rubbed his hands together, and began writing. He spoke aloud while he typed…

"Beast Boy was alone on the roof of the tower watching the…uh…sunset! Yeah, the sunset. Because that's romantic, right? Hopefully. Um…he was remembering the time he had confessed his undying love for…crap, now I'm screwed. I can't say any of the Titans, 'cause then they'll want to beat me up! Aw man! Um…confessed his undying love for…a random civilian named…Dora! Dora loved going on adventures with her pet monkey and cousin, and Beast Boy had tagged along once.

"He's gonna kill me for hooking him up with Dora the Explorer." Cyborg laughed. "Anyway…"

"But Dora had not loved Beast Boy. So now he was being…emo on the tower roof, waiting for, um…night to come so he could sink into his amazingly awesome form of emo-ness…"

"Man, this thing sucks," Cyborg shook his head. "Oh well."

"There was one way Beast Boy could deal with his loss: by doing the most painful thing imaginable. So he made his way down into the tower, all the way to the kitchen, where…uh…Raven was sitting, reading a book. Beast Boy didn't notice her, and went straight to the fridge.

"Finding a leftover piece of steak, he put it on a plate and cut it up into little pieces. Then, putting a paper towel over it, he stuck it in the microwave.

"Raven had noticed all of this, and was very confused. 'Beast Boy, why are you cooking meat?' she asked. 'You're not still all emo over Dora, are you?' Beast Boy jumped at the sound of her voice. 'No way!' he insisted. 'Cyborg asked me to make it for him, 'kay?' 'If you say so,' Raven rolled her eyes and returned to her book."

"I wonder if that's long enough?" Cyborg thought aloud. "I mean, the only thing that'll happen if I keep going is it'll get worse." He went to the top of the toolbar and clicked 'word count.' "Dang, only 223!" Gotta keep going…"

He sat in thought for a few more seconds, then began to laugh insanely.

"I'm safe, cause everyone else will do this too!" he exclaimed ecstatically. Clearing his throat, he continued,

"Meanwhile, Robin was in the gym punching the punching bag. He was being all obsessive over Slade again, and nobody wanted to go near him. Everyone except Starfire.

"Starfire walked over to where Robin was being stupid, and said, 'Robin, please go to sleep. It is late and you need rest.' Robin, being the hyper-competitive little short guy he was, continued punching the bag, saying, 'I can't Starfire. Slade is here. He's after me. He'll kill me. I have to catch him.' Starfire stopped listening as Robin continued to rant, only catching the occasional, 'Slade,' 'stupid,' and 'must die.'"

Cyborg began laughing hysterically.

"Robin'll hate me!" he clutched his side. "But the best part is that everyone else will do it too! Boo-yah!" Controlling his laughter, Cyborg continued typing, the words coming much easier, now that he had started.

"Starfire looked at the ground. She was upset that Robin was taking this so seriously. 'Robin, you must stop sometime,' she insisted. Robin, however, heard nothing, as he was still venting his anger about Slade into the punching bag. Feeling annoyed, Starfire grabbed Robin's fist as he was about to punch the bag again. Being ten times stronger than him, Robin lost his balance and fell over.

"Just then, Cyborg walked into the room. 'Are you being all weird about Slade again, man?' he asked. ''Cause you need to stop and get some sleep.' He winked at Starfire, who still held Robin's arm. Using this gesture as her cue, Starfire twisted both of Robin's arms behind his back. 'You must sleep!' she said, force-marching him out of the gym. 'No!' Robin yelled. 'My punching bag with Slade's head on it! I haven't finished destroying it yet!' He struggled against Starfire's grip for a few seconds, then gave up.

"Cyborg and Starfire escorted Robin to his room, and by the time they had reached it, Robin had fallen asleep from pure exhaustion. Starfire was carrying him in her arms, which made Cyborg laugh. 'Nice work, Star,' he congratulated her. 'Finally he gets some sleep.' 'Yes, you also did a most wonderful job,' Starfire nodded her head. 'I was worried that Robin would not ever stop punching the hanging bag.'"

Cyborg paused in his typing again, his laughter getting the better of him.

"All right, now this is good," he decided. "I don't care how long it should be, it's long enough." He went up to the task bar and clicked on the icon of the floppy disk. Simply saving the story as 'fanfic,' he exited out of Word.

He opened up the fanfiction browser again, and clicked on 'documents.' He loaded the story to the document, then clicked on 'stories.' Picking 'new story' from this list of options, he scrolled down to the bottom of the next page that popped up, showing that he had read the rules. He clicked again on 'new story.'

"Pick category," he read aloud. "I think we were under cartoons." He clicked on this, then scrolled down until he found 'Teen Titans.' Then he was faced with a page asking for the story information.

"Title…how about 'Teen Titans story'?" Cyborg thought aloud. "Well, it'll have to do for now. I guess someone else can change it if they think of something better. Summary? Uh… 'The Teen Titans themselves write a story.' Someone else can change that too. Language? English. Rating? Uh, I guess K+. I don't know what they all stand for, but I'm guessing this one'll work. Genre? Well that guy said it was supposed to be romance, so…" He clicked on the category and picked 'romance.' "Status? In-Progress. Character 1? I guess that would be nobody. Character two? Nobody, really. I'll leave those blank. Document?" Cyborg clicked on this category and selected the document he had just loaded. Then he clicked 'submit.'

"Yeah! The Teen Titans are officially fanfiction authors!" Cyborg jumped up and punched the air. "Boo-yah! That dude Slash is going down!"


	5. I'm no good at this romantic crap!

_Wow, it's been a while! But I am back (of only for a short amount of time) to bring you mroe of our dear Titans fighting the very thing that makes fanfiction go round: inspiration (which is in disguise as slash). This update is to celebrate the two-year mark of my fanfiction account. I said I would update everything on day of the two-year mark, so here I am!!_

_Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, Freudian Slips, or the number ten. Thank you._

* * *

The Titans returned from their pizza outing to see Cyborg writhing on the floor of the main room, wheezing. All nine of them rushed over to him, concern on every face.

"Cyborg?" Robin was the first to speak. "Are you okay?"

"That…" Cyborg choked, made a gurgling sound, sat up, then collapsed on the floor, wheezing some more.

"Did you read another slash story?" Speedy asked in a voice that sounded like a mother scolding her three year old son for wetting his pants.

Cyborg took a deep breath, managed to stop wheezing, and sat up again.

"That was the best experience of my life!" he exclaimed. "I never knew writing a story was so much fun!" He pointed a shaking finger at Beast Boy and began snorting with laughter. "You're gonna love it!" He then collapsed onto the floor again, wheezing.

Realizing that this wheezing had only come about thanks to the insane and un-stoppable laughter that had been coming out of Cyborg's mouth, the Titans left him to it, all of them worried about what he may have written in his part of the fanfiction.

---

It was midnight, and Cyborg was up late checking the Titans' email. He had gotten multiple reviews for the chapter he had posted up, and was enjoying reading them.

"You are a crack head, you loser. What makes you think that any one of the Titans would write anything so stupid? Not even Beast Boy would write something that lame. Go…" he trailed away, not willing to stain his tongue with the nastiness of the next part.

"Man, these are hilarious!" he chuckled, looking at the next one.

"I absolutely loved the Beast Boy and Dora pairing!!!! Please come to my house and yell Boo-yah and I will make myself a hundred different pennames and review this story under each one!!! Then you'll get your thousand reviews."

"I like this person," Cyborg smiled, and began looking into this person's history, trying to find out who they were and where they lived. After all, how was Slash going to know if the same person submitted every single review?

"Dude, this was freakin' hilarious! Please keep writing! You're awesome and I think you really are Cyborg!" was the next review.

Cyborg had five more reviews to read, all of which either said, 'You're on drugs' or 'I love you!' Then he came to a sixth, which became the highlight of his day…well, actually night since it was midnight…

"My name is Rosa Kerovac. You have stained my mind forever with the pairing of Beast Boy and Dora the Explorer. Prepare to die. … But I loved the rest of the story and I really hope you write more and I really want to know what happens between Star and Rob, and please make this a BBRae story and maybe put in a little CyBee or CyJinx or whatever makes you happy. I don't know what would make you happy because this is your first story and you don't have a profile and I really hope that we share the same pairing preferences because you're hilarious and I really would like it if you read some of my stories. Email me!" Cyborg paused for a laughing break, then continued reading the review. "I'm a RobStar, BBRae, CyBee, AquaTerra, and KFJinx shipper myself, and I really hope that you are too because all those pairings are SOOOOOO obvious and the creators of teen titans were on crack because they put BB and Terra together which is so wrong it's not even funny! And that's why there's so many people out there that hate Terra and want her to die and burn and die again and then burn some more! Please turn this into a terra bashing fic, but maybe you could put a little terra and aqualad fluff in there too, because it's kind of cute because they're both losers and everything. And I probably just wasted so much of your life by rambling on, so I'll close with one thing: DIE TERRA!!!!!! Okay, I lied, two: email me!!!!"

"Wow, someone's a tad obsessed…" Cyborg scrolled down, to see that the review was still not over!

"Oh my gosh, I just reread your author's note, and YOU'RE CYBORG??? OMG, I had no idea!!! I probably offended you so much by saying all this, and you're probably wondering why I didn't just delete it and that's because it took me forever to type, so I didn't want to but OMG, you're CYBORG??? Well, it'd be really weird if you didn't like jinx or bee because I said you should be with one of them. Sorry! And tell bb I love him and want to marry him! Love you all, peace out!!! PS. EMAIL ME!!!!!"

Cyborg collapsed onto the floor, laughing his head off. He had found his reason to write. Just getting reviews like that made it all worth it.

---

Beast Boy awoke the next morning feeling excited. He was the next to work on fanfiction, and, unlike the other Titans, he was actually looking forward to it. He knew exactly what he was going to write, and no matter what Cyborg had written, he was going to write his idea.

"I'll get sent to another dimension for this, I know," Beast Boy murmured as he tumbled out of bed and onto the floor, "but it'll be so worth it!"

After deciding not to change out of his pajamas, Beast Boy grabbed his laptop from his dresser and pulled it onto the floor with him. He turned it on, and hummed a made-up tune as the computer turned on.

"I will obey the traffic rules," he sang softly as his desktop came up. He double clicked on the internet explorer icon, and typed in fanfiction dot net in the browser. He was at the point of signing in when he realized he had no idea what the password was.

Putting the computer aside, Beast Boy exited his room and walked down the hallway to Cyborg's room. Getting no answer as he knocked, Beast Boy went in.

Cyborg was not there.

Figuring he must be in the kitchen getting breakfast, Beast Boy turned around and headed for the main room. He walked into the main room to find it empty as well.

About a second later the main doors of the tower were swung open and Cyborg came trudging in.

"Cy!" Beast Boy yelled, and ran over to him.

"B?" Cyborg's natural eye was half closed and his red one was dim. He had dark shadows under his eyes and was slightly slumped in his posture.

"What happened to you?" Beast Boy asked, concerned.

"I was up all night reading reviews," Cyborg answered sleepily. "I promised all those people I would visit their house and yell 'Boo-Yah!' if they reviewed."

"Did you visit any houses?"

"Just one," Cyborg yawned. "There was this one person who's super obsessed with the idea that you and Raven belong together and the Aqualad and Terra are both losers, and their review made me laugh so much that I just had to visit their house to figure out how their brain works."

"You do know it's eight in the morning, right?"

"Yeah, I visited at six thirty," Cyborg shrugged.

"And this person was awake?"

"Yeah."

"Weirdo," Beast Boy shook his head. "Look, Cy, I was gonna write my chapter now, since I'm next, so I just need to know what password and email you used."

"Oh, I used the joint email and the password's 'teentitans,' all one word," Cyborg clapped Beast Boy on the shoulder. "Good luck with the writing. Trust me, the reviewers are hilarious."

"How many reviews did we get so far?"

"Well, the story's been up for less than 24 hours, but I'd say that twenty one reviews in that time is pretty good."

"Sweet!" Beast Boy punched the air. "Well, I'm gonna get writing!" He dashed up the stairs, hardly hearing Cyborg's laughter.

Now humming again, Beast Boy slid onto the floor and pulled his laptop closer. He typed in the email and password, and the fanfiction account page popped up. His eyes whizzed across the page for a few seconds, then he clicked on 'stories.'

There was one story: 'Teen Titans Story.' He clicked on 'live preview,' and began to read.

"WHAT?!?!" Beast Boy yelled, throwing himself backwards. "Why did he do that?"

Besat Boy was shocked. He was appalled. He was absolutely disgusted. Cyborg had paired him up with Dora the Explorer?

"Oh, man," Beast Boy said in a low growl. "Cy, you're getting it now." Now completely abandoning his previous idea, Beast Boy opened Microsoft Word and began to type a new chapter.

He, like Cyborg, started with the author's note.

_Hey all you dudes and dudettes out there! It's Beast Man here, writing the next chapter of this crappy story! Of course, it wouldn't be crappy if someone hadn't put me and Dora the Explorer together… Prepare to die!! Kidding…_

_Anyway, I hope you dudes like my story! Please leave us lots and lots of reviews, because we need them! I'll make sure Cy visits your house and yells "Boo-yah!" if you do!_

"Well, here goes," Beast Boy stretched out his arms and began to type.

"Now it was morning," he began, continuing the story Cyborg had started, "and Cyborg was just waking up. He walked downstairs into the kitchen and began making breakfast. Not caring that thousands of innocent unborn chickens had died to serve him the eggs, the stuck them in a frying pan.

"'Dude, don't eat meat!' BEAST MAN yelled, flexing his huge muscles. Cyborg was scared, so he threw away the eggs."

"Aw geez, now what?" Beast Boy looked at the two short paragraphs that he had written. "I dunno what to write! I'm no good at this annoying romantic crap. Umm…"

After thinking for a few minutes, he continued,

"Then, without warning, in came… DUN DUN DUN!!! The Titans East!!! They were visiting Jump City because Bumblebee is a cool leader, unlike Robin who never lets us go on vacation. They decided that Steel City could survive for longer than two seconds without them, so here they are!

"Aqualad and Speedy were arguing about tacos again, and Mas Y Menos were confusing everyone by talking in really fast Spanish. But Bumblebee was nice and said hi to everyone. Robin and Starfire were too busy looking at each other to notice, Cyborg was crying over the trash can, Raven was… missing, but BEAST MAN –swooshy cape noise- said hi back!

"Then Raven came downstairs and was like, 'Whoa, when did they get here?' and BEAST MAN answered in his manly voice, 'Just a minute ago, actually.' Now all our readers here know Raven can be extremely depressing and never comes out of her room, but he biggest secret is that –drumroll- she loves BEAST MAN!!!"

"Oh boy, I'm so gonna be dead for this one," Beast Boy muttered, hardly believing what his fingers had just typed, almost of their own accord. Then, suddenly, without any warning, a small fluttering something popped in front of Beast Boy's face.

"That is a prime example of what is called a 'Freudian Slip,'" the flying thing said. "A Freudian Slip is when a desire or need from the unconscious comes out accidentally. For example," the thing pointed to the computer screen, "this statement about Raven loving you that seemed to come out of nowhere is a Freudian Slip. It proves that you are the one with feelings for Raven!

"This has been your faithful Freudian fairy, with the first of many psychological inserts! (Please note that all fairy appearances are provided in part by the number ten!)"

And with that, the 'faithful Freudian fairy' disappeared, leaving Beast Boy extremely confused.

* * *

_PS. I've come up with a Teen Titans fic challenge! See my profile for details!_


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